Speaking of muumuus

I've come to the conclusion that my husband like fat girls. He denies this. But I, Dear Watson and also Dear Internetz, have evidence.

Astonishingly, I did not arrive at this conclusion by connecting point A to point B and thinking, "Welp, I'm a girl. I'm fat. He likes me. Ergo, he likes fat girls. " No. It was a bit more convoluted than that.

In the past 6-ish years, I've had five kids. (Don't worry, I'm not a Duggar. I was a surrogate.) Yep, 5 kids, and probably about 5,000 chocolate bars, but whatever, I'm blaming the kids. :) As a result of the "kids" I've gained about a squillion pounds. Fortunately, during the brief not-pregnant stints I've managed to lose about half a squillion pounds! Unfortunately, that leaves me with another half-squillion to go.

On the bright side, I've lost about 15lbs over the past 2 months. Yay, not being a whale!*
I've been pretty pumped about it, too.

So Valentine's Day happens. At first I tell my husband "Please, don't buy me chocolate. I've been doing pretty well with the anti-whale plan." But naturally, in a moment of weakness, I call his cell phone while he's on his way home from work to let him know that he could pick up "just a little bit".

In he strolls, victoriously carrying a delicious Lindt chocolate bar.

Oh yea, and an ENTIRE BOX of caramel cashew chocolate turtles.

Yes, the evidence speaks for itself.


*Note: I hold no prejudice against sea life. Except for Angler Fish. No seriously, eff those guys.